Thursday, January 8, 2009

Time Marches On.

My husband and I have made a decision.  We've decided to take permanent contraceptive measures.  In all honesty, we've been praying and struggling with this particular issue for two years.  It will mean that we're no longer in our "reproductive years". It's a new phase of life and it's just taking me a while to get used to it. 

I liked thinking that we could have another child if we wanted.  Not that I could actually handle another child, mind you.  My house is very chaotic and I'm a wreck most of the time.  I'm having a hard time enjoying the small things because there's just so much chaos. I have often envisioned myself as the perfect mother of two children. It's a great vision, but I have three children. 

If I had started having children at 25 years old instead of 30, maybe the number of children we ultimately had would've been different.  Maybe I wouldn't be so tired or so short on patience if I were [ahem], five years younger.  I think what finally helped us reach our decision was when we thought, "How many is enough?"  We couldn't answer that question.  My husband and I thoroughly enjoy our children and their diverse personalities so much [and we enjoy the hustle and bustle of our lives] that I'm not sure four would've been enough.  Or five.  If we were superheroes, we could go on having children forever.

My aunt told me once that "everyone knows how many children they want to have".  I disagree.  I wasn't sure that I would be able to mother any children.  I figured that I could do the biological part, but the raising of a child from 2 years to 20 years is where I was unsure of my capabilities.  I am still unsure--every day.  
So, we've decided to stop and count our little blessings: one, two, three...and then stop counting.  


LeAnne said...

Don't tell Darren that. I still want one more and he says that two is enough. I have made him promise to not make his mind up fully until Kayce is two, which is quickly approaching. And he is not changing his mind.

Mainly a midwife said...

If D is going to sign up for the big V hooray for him. If not...check out Essure. Essentially a tubal done in the office... easy, easy,easy.